Love Can Build a Bridge

I am one of those guys who likes to listen to music, I think its a way for us to escape into a little avenue of ourselves, and just be US...not the person that everyone sees. You'll sometimes see me in my car just singing along with my CD or whatever song is on the radio, or you'll here me crank up my music @ the house and sing along with it as well....but I also like to write on how a certain song speaks to me, which is what most of my blogs will always be, mainly because sometimes a song or a quote is all that is needed to explain a situation. Take for instance, the song by The Judds, the famous mother/daughter duo of Naomi and Wynonna Judd. They have a song called Love Can Build a Bridge. I listened to this song after my Grandmother Sue passed away and I couldn't keep myself from crying each and everytime. I still do it to this day. So let me tell you my story about this song.

We'll start with the day I was born, a cold wintery December day in Beaufort, South Carolina, it's about 3 A.M and God tells me its my time to join the world. So my mother gives birth to me, but its a complicated birth from what she told me, I came out with my umbilical chord around my neck, so I couldn't breath. It was a scary moment for my family. Well little did I know, (of course me being a baby, I really didn't know a lot) my Grandpa had married the women I would call my Grandma Sue a few years earlier. Now I know what some of yall might say, how can a person your grandmother if you're not related by blood, well this is where the song comes in, and I'll explain it to you a little more later. Now, I don't remember first meeting my Grandmother Sue, because I was probably too young to remember, but I do remember visiting her, especially when we were finally East of the Missisippi in North Carolina. When we were in California, Idaho, and Oregon (we being my family of course), well we didn't get to see much of our family here in the South. It was just too far of a drive, and really we couldn't afford that kind of traveling back then.

But once we moved to Memphis, it was a totally different story. I got to know my Grandma Sue very well. While she may of only been my Grandmother by marriage...not blood...she was my grandmother by the strongest force possible...love. Love build bridges stronger then anything that blood or man can build. We really got to know each other during our stay @ Foundry Hill Campgrounds when we went up during the summer for my church's reunion. I remember laying in my bunk reading the Teen Study Bible my grandmother just bought for me and I asked, Sue....do we call you Sue or Grandma Sue, or Grandma...and she, probably for the first time having to answer a question so innocent...answered with the answer of a Grandmother....she goes...We may not be related by blood, but we are related by love, you are all my grandchildren...and I proudly call you that...you can call me sue, Grandma, Grandma Sue...whatever you like...and in unison...me and my sisters all said...you're our Grandma....and that was that. When it comes to knowing who you family is very important. I'm proud to say that my grandmother was one of the most influential persons on my life. It hit me pretty hard when she died back on September 7th of 2001 of amyloidosis. A rare disease that attacks all of the organs, and most doctors don't find it until major organ failures are in full swing.

A week ago, I went to visit my Grandmothers grave site...kissed her stone and said a silent prayer. I hope she was watching me, I had a feeling she was, cause everytime I think about her I get goosebumps. I also get a tear in my eye, but that's just because, I can't understand why God had to take her away.

Even to this day I question why he did that. It's not like he doesn't have enough Angels up there...Hopefully I'll get to understand why things happen...but for now...I'm left to ponder.

A New Hero and Some Other Tid Bits

So I call Bobby up a couple of days ago, and ask him...hey, what are you doing Saturday evening, he replies...nothing why? I ask well I was wondering if you'd like to go see a movie or something (Me and Bobby are fast becoming best friends (well I think), so of course I like hanging out with him, he's what I call..."My Little Buddy", cause lets face it...I'm huge he's small...it works! So I call him up last night, and say...HEY...I'm just getting off work, is it too late to go see a movie, and he's like NO MAN, let's go see something, of course I haven't done my homework, so I of course, don't know whats playing, so I scoot on over to a nearby movie theatre, to see what's playing, and I see it...Rambo! I have actually wanted to see this movie, so I call, and I let him know, 9:55 Paradiso! So I am in Cordova, so I figured what the heck, just drive on over there, cause I know there is a McCalisters right next dooor, and I haven't had anything to eat in a while, so I figured...why not...well I get a call from KC (about ten minutes after my food arrive, let's say this....I probably won't go back to that McCalisters unless I want to get the cute girls phone number who waited on me, cause the service besides hers sucks.), saying they are at the movie theatre, and there is a line....which is kind of weird...there really isn't any good movies out besides Rambo, but its been out for a few weeks, so I figured, well it can't be fore that...so I get there...and I get another call...its Bobby...its funny, I'm a huge guy, and I spot in a heartbeat, and I keep walking towards him, while we're on the phone, and I tell him behind, behind, next to you and he's look all the other ways but where I am...go figure! But we all get inline, of course, I look and I see David and KC in the front...and I'm why the hell are you two in front...I'm paying...and then Bobby hugs me...it makes me feel awkward. So I fork over 36 dollars (yeah to go see a movie...can you believe that!), we hurry through, cause the movie actually started @ 945, not 955 like it said, so we get our seats, finish the previews, and then it starts....one of the most violent, and gorist actions movies ever created, but it was sooooo goood. Now Rambo has always been a hero, but man this made him more then a hero...this made him an icon.....but I got all of that worked up....for this...a true American Hero...I like to make it home to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, especially if it concerns the American Military getting homes that they truly desearve. Coming from a family of Marines, (my mom and dad both served, in fact that is how they met) in the Marines, my mother, served 4 years, and my dad made it a career and served 23 and a half. We've always had more then enough in our family, even through the hard times, we had more then most people. A good home and warm food in our bellies. It was a good time. Well this story involves a Marine by the name of Daniel Gilyeat, a Staff Sergeant, and his 4 kids. He went over to Iraq in 2003 the first time, and then came back just fine, ready to rock and roll. Then the Marines asked him to go back for a second time in 2005, even though he was probably about to get out, and he said "yes". He lost his leg in Iraq, to an IED. The story by now has me bawling, cause I'm just that kind of guy, who gets emotional about this kind of stuff. Here is a guy who risked all that he had on the line, just because he knew he was needed....what more can you say about that! Well here is more. He actually died twice, they had to revive him, and he told everyone, that the only thing that brought him back was his 4 kids. Wow, what kind of love is that! That's the deepest and purest love right there. Well he comes back home, and he goes through rehab, and within a month he is walking on a prosthesis. Well a year later, his wife, divorces him, and leaves him and there 4 children, in a house, that is in deep for repairs. It was a really touching episode, one I will probably watch again when it comes on for reruns, and I will probably cry again. It was that good.

Some other tid bits. Well I am in full swing in driving at work, and I'm having a blast. It's real fun being so high up, the kids are waving at ya, and the girls are flashing those million dollar smiles, and the guys are lookin up you with envy. But ya know...I think I am the happiest I have been in a long time. I'm still searching for a girl...throwing my hook out there. So we'll see what happens.

Well thats all for now.

Dreams and Good Thoughts

For as long as I can remember, (which sometimes isn’t much, cause lets face it, I played football and I got hit in the head….a lot). I’ve always had a dream to be a cop. Now I know my dream can still come true, but it would take a lot of work. But I don’t want to be just any kind of cop. I want to work with the Federal Government. I support the local and state law enforcement but, I think I can bring something to the greater good of the country. I hope to be able to live out this dream, because I’ve come to find out, I’m pretty darn good at taking people down, and opening up investigations to theft rings and such as that. Maybe I’ll go ahead and finish my degree at ….*cringe* the University of Memphis, and get my Bachelors in Criminal Justice.

So on to good thoughts. Even though times have been rocky here @ the house, I feel like I’m making good progress @ work, and with my friends even though I haven’t seen most of them since David’s birthday shindig, mainly because I went out of town that next day for training, but that’s all good. I think my and Bobby are gonna try to get together this afternoon, well at least until his game and we’ll hang out for a bit, which will be fun. Maybe we can get Womack involved as well. If he’s not working. That should be kind of fun. The only thing not good on thoughts, is me and my other best friend, Jake are still not talking. I made his girlfriend mad, because I pretty much told her, she needed to stop butting in my conversations w/Jake, and he should be able to have private conversations with his friends w/out her always wanting to know what is going on. There are something’s that I just think she should stay out of, especially when I ask for him to keep it private. But that’s me. I do my best to keep most of my conversations private, unless they are common knowledge.

More good thoughts, I’m gonna be customizing my impala! I want it to make it shine! I’m gonna add a body kit, that will make it look like a Nissan Skyline. If you have never scene a Nissan Skyline, Google that, and you’ll see what it is, and you’ll see how easily I can make my Impala look like one! Also gonna up the engine a bit, maybe put a Turbo on it, and give it a dual exhaust. Give it a bit of a growl. Gonna make this thing FLY! I’ve picked out a great color for it, so hopefully within the next year or so, this will come true!

Well, I have a busy morning. Have to pick up my check, go put it in the bank, go pay my ticket, and then take my sister to work. So I have to scoot. Have a good one yall.

Can People Really Be That Stupid?

So I am just getting back to Memphis, from being Jackson, Mississippi for delivery driver training, which was pretty cool, this was my first business trip for Best Buy, so of course that makes things a little more exciting for me. So I am get back on Friday, cool beans, stop by the store, do my expenses thing so I can get the money I spent back, which will be on my paycheck next week (saweet), and a few other things. So I come in today, to finish a few elearning test (what those are, just computerized test to test your knowledge of whatever you’re job is with in Best Buy).

So I am finishing my test, talking to one of the sweethearts that works the CASO desk @ Best Buy (CASO is Customer Assistance Specialist and Store Operator Specilist), Brittany. I talk to the managers there to make sure I am doing everything ok, and since I did, I decide I’ve had enough of the test, and I could really use some NON Best Buy time, so I start getting my things ready to leave, so I am walking up to the front, and I have to check out with LP per usual, no one gets to go by, not even me, the star of Best Buy sometimes J. So I am getting my folder/clipboard checked out when I am lookin at the screen on the LP desk, and I see a familiar figure. Now the reason this figure looks familiar is because, I caught a guy who looked exactly like the guy on camera for shoplifting, and this was just any shoplifting, this is felony shoplifting, so I had to get a closer look, so I ask Mike…dude, zoom in on that guys face and let me see if that’s Keith Brewer, who I caught back in May, so Mike zooms in and what do you know? Its Keith Brewer, the same guy I caught back in May, who is already committing trespassing, has a LAPTOP computer IN HIS HANDS, is now cutting OPEN the lap top box, and proceeds to put it in his jacket! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

So I’m checking records so the police know who this guy is, and printing it out when Mike calls me over, and I see the idiot start heading towards the front of the building, so of course I go ahead and make my way back up as well. So he cuts through all of the cash registers and heads directly for the exits, well guess who is blocking his way? That’s right, me. So I look at him square in the eyes, and ask…you possibly can’t be this stupid?! His look…PRICELESS. Sheer terror! So I grab him by the arm and tell him, its time to go inside the office. He looks and say’s, “I’m NOT GOING BACK IN THERE!”, and trys to escape…again wrong move, so I grab him up, and I throw his ass inside the office.

But seriously, you’re already banned from the store (all of the stores, not just the one I banned him from), why would you try your luck anywhere else? People are frigging stupid!

Girls and Signs

Now I am trying to figure out, why do girls give off different signs? What I mean is when you’re interested in a girl, why do girls want to play games with you? I am one of those guys who likes to cut to the chase sort of speak. I’ll let someone know how I feel about them (well try to anyways if I can get the courage to do so). But, I have been talking to a young lady, and we’ve gone out a couple of times, and I have showed immense interested in her, but I always feel like she’s disenchanted with me. For example, the Saturday night before New Years, we went out on the town and saw “P.S I Love You”. Now usually chick flicks aren’t my sorta thing, usually wait till they come out on DVD and will just add it to my collection of movies, maybe watch them a couple of times, but being the gentleman, I said of course, cause you do everything possible for the young lady.

Well, after that night, I haven’t been able to get a hold of her. I know she started a new job, so of course that might have something to do with it, but I just feel like she’s not interested in me. Maybe she doesn’t see me as boyfriend material. Which is understandable, but there are so many signs being thrown at me saying, she’s a keeper, she’s the one, blah blah…well I think they are more like, well looks like you got yourself another “just friend” type.

A couple of songs I have been listening to on my computer have really just sunk in. Believe it or not, they are sung by Rascal Flatts. The first one is Blessed The Broke Road, and the other is To Make Her Love Me. There are probably a few songs that depict my mood at this moment, but I’ll have to edit them in here. Those two are playing right now for me, mainly cause, I think with the broken road I have been traveling, I thought she was a blessing, and even though I know its not important in the grand scheme of things, I’d really want God to make her love me for me. Do I love her? It’s getting there I think, but I guess only God knows and time will tell if really happens.

For those who have not gone to see P.S I Love You, as a guy I highly recommend seeing it. I give it a good 9.5 out of 10. Guys and girls will enjoy it immensely. But guy’s do yourself a favor…take a lady to go see it.

Well that’s it for now. I hope to write at least once a week here. I’m adding this to my favorites, so I’ll be sure to visit on a daily basis, and if I get the writing bug more then once a week this year…you just might get two blogs. Till then…God Bless and Shalom

If Heaven..A Good Song and An Older Blog From MySpace Enjoy, Currently Working on a New year Blog, Stay Tuned

Well its been a few since I last wrote a blog, so I thought I would write something down...so grab a comfy chair, grab you something good to drink, maybe a few kleenexes, its blog time.

"If Heaven"

If heaven was an hour it would be twilight,
When the fireflies started their dancing on the lawn
Suppers on the stove and momma's laughing
and everybody's working day is done

If heaven was a town it would be my town
Oh on a summer day in 1985
And everything I wanted was out there waiting
Everyone I loved is still alive

Don't cry a tear for me now baby,
There comes a time that we all must say good bye
And if that's what heavens made of,
you know I aint afraid to die

If Heaven was a pie it would be cherry,
So cool and sweet and heavy on the tongue,
Just one bite would satisfy your hunger
There would always be enough for everyone

If heaven was a train it sure would be a fast one
That would take this weary traveler around the bend

If heaven was a tear it would my last one,
you'd be in my arms again

Don't cry a tear for me now baby,
There comes a time that we all must say good bye
And if that's what heavens made up,
you know I aint afraid to die

Everytime I listen to this song I beging to think about life and where its taken me. The accomplishments and the disappointments as well. The reason why things happen...and the plan that God has paved out for me. Now most would say Im a religious man or maybe even a philosopher. I don't know about all of that...but I will say that I know God has a reason for the things that have happened in my life. This song speaks of what Heaven might be like when we die. I myself would rather die young doing something for man kind, mainly because I know that my life and death would not go in vain.

Rather or not you have a religion or that you even believe in God, you have to understand that this song speaks so much more. We all must be able to say good bye to our loved ones. It is probably one of the hardest things ever to do . I know when I said Good Bye to my grandmother for the last time, I couldn't bare the thought that I would never see her again. This song has helped me understand that I will get to see her again.

For me...If heaven was a year...it would have to be 98-99 when I was called into my priesthood office, and I stood with my Grandparents at a conference for my church...accepting my priesthood call.
That was one of my greatest accomplishments. My Grandma didn't get to see me be confirmed into my priesthood, her illness kept her home, and she couldn't really get out of bed unfortunately. Even though she wasn't there in person that day she was there in spirit.

I still remember the last thing that my grandma said to me when I visited her in the hospital right before i left for my sophmore year of college. We were all sitting in the hospital room, just talking about some of my classes that I would be taking, and talking about my new shoes that I bought before school, and I asked her if she would be making it to my graduation, I of course knew that she didn't have much time left, but she answered yes she would be there. Grandma, Grandpa, and Mom, and myself all began to cry, because we all knew the seriousness of what was going on. Then my Grandma said sorry for crying...but of course, there was no reason to be sorry about it. My Grandpa said she was a big girl, she can cry if she wanted too. It was getting to close to visiting time to be over with and the nurse came over to let us know...so I went over to my grandma's bedside and buried my face into her hands...and she said..."Don't ever forget where youe come from. You make me very proud. I don't want you to ever forget me."

Every cpl of months I visit her grave site and I just sit there and talk to her. Telling her whats on my mind. I get a warm fuzzy feeling when I do this because I know she's there listening to me.

Now we all have people we cherish. I most definitely cherish my family and friends...evne though my family get on my nerves...a lot...I will do anything for them.

My friends are the greatest people ever. You can see me and my best friend in my newest display picture...he is the definition of a brother. Through out life we're lucky enough to find anyone who will be there for you no matter what...and he is that guy.

So Im done with blogging for now, I've cried enough. This song makes me tear up like a bawling baby. I hope you read it and learn that...hey...just getting through life isn't enough...you've got to live it. I know that now, and I'm doing just that. Living it up. Learning from my mistakes...and taking any challanges head on.

This is Pease signing off...Good Afternoon All.

Winner At a Losing Game

Winner At A Losing Game

Baby, look here at me
Have you ever seen me this way?
I've been fumblin' for words
Through the tears and the hurt and the pain.
I'm gonna lay it all out
On the line tonight.
And I think that it's time
To tell this uphill fight goodbye.

CHORUS:
Have you ever had to love someone
That just don't feel the same?
Tryin' to make somebody care for you
The way I do
Is like tryin' to catch the rain.
And if love is really forever,
I'm a winner at a losin' game.

I know that baby, you've tried
To find me somewhere inside of you.
But, you know you can't lie
Girl, you can't hide the truth.
Sometimes two hearts
Just can't dance to the same beat.
So I'll pack up my things,
And I'll take what remains of me.

CHORUS:
Have you ever had to love someone
That just don't feel the same?
Tryin' to make somebody care for you
The way I do
Is like tryin' to catch the rain.
And if love is really forever,
I'm a winner at a losin' game.

BRIDGE:
I know that I'll never be the man that you need or love
Yeah, baby it's killin' me to stand here and see
I'm not what you've been dreamin' of

CHORUS:
Have you ever had to love someone
That just don't feel the same?
Tryin' to make somebody care for you
The way I do
Is like tryin' to catch the rain.
And if love is really forever,
I'm a winner at a losin' game.

Oh, oh, oh, if love is really forever
I'm a winner at a losin' game
Ooo, I'm tired of losing
Oh, oh, oh.
Mmmmm.


So I am getting ragged on by Bobby to update my blog, well I am trying....but I am kind of busy...so I do the best I can....I usually use myspace for my blogs, but I guess I can keep this as updated as possible.

So I have been hearing this song on the radio a lot, its off of Rascal Flatt's "Still Feels Good" album, and I listen to this song, and I am like wow...that's pretty much my life sometimes. I sometimes think I am fighting a losing battle when it comes to love. Now I have never felt it, so I don't know what love really is. I don't know how I'm suppose to feel. I try to be myself, which is sometimes good enough for a laugh or two. Sometimes I think we all have this feeling that damn it...why can't things just be written in crayon and well understand what hell is going on. I don't know. I guess we'll just have to learn the lessons the hard way....even though...the hard way...its just well...Hard!

Ok so here is a 2nd post....I'll try to come up with something...anyways...tootle.s