Just One Of Those Days

You know, I think I can count on one hand, where I've had a day, where just everything didn't seem to add up to what I wanted in life. Where I thought, man...this is a hard life, why the hell do I have to go through it all the time? Well yesterday was definitely one of those days. I can't think of the reason why either, because it's not that I don't have any good news in my life, cause I have an abundance of good news, it's just one of those days I think.

I think in our lives, no matter what we do, how much faith we have will always have...one of those days. I can't even call it a bad day (even though, getting pulled over for absolutely nothing like I did last night, (no ticket or warning issued, because the cop made a mistake) didn't help me any. I think yesterday I just need to blow off some steam, and I had already worked out, so I couldn't do that again...well I could, but I would advise not doing two work outs in one day, could lead to bad stuff.

I think my friend Courtney from work said it right. I think God gives us these days to let us know that we have friends that care an abundance about you. I know I am blessed to have many many many great friends. I don't think I would be here today if not for many of them.

I like to use movies to figure things out, so I popped in Angels in the Outfield (the one with Danny Glover, Tony Danza, and Joseph Gordon Hewitt, and I always get touched at the line, "you can call it angels, you can call it faith, you can call it whatever you like" and I also get touched by the line, "you can't go through life, thinking everyone you meet will one day let you down".
I use to have this kind of thinking (the latter), that people would just let me down. I don't know why. For a while there I was completely and totally lost.

I try not to think that anyway anymore, but every now and then I get slammed back down, but like I said before I am lucky enough to have some really good friends to help me back up and dust me off, so I can go on my way again.
Never underestimate the value of friendship and love. You'll never know how handy that it will be. Tomorrow I get to meet my newest family member, my best friends new kiddo Joseph Matthew. I can't wait! I've only gotten to see him behind the incubator and pictures, so to truly hold a miracle of God, it will be one of my greatest moments. Then next weekend, I get to pick up my new puppy! I am so excited. It seems like these two weeks are going to drag by! So I need to make sure I pick up some puppy chow, some chew toys, a leash and collar, and set an appointment to get his shots taken care of. I am very excited!

Well I thought I would finish this up I hope that you all have a blessed week and weekend.

With Gods Love

The Big Guy

Christmas and What It Means To Me

When I think back on my life and I think about Christmas, I think about how it used to be, when everyone I knew and loved was still alive and my parents were still together. So in other words I am going back to my first Christmas where I actually got to spend some quality time with my Grandfather Buford and Grandmother Sue. Most of you might remember me talking about my grandmother who died 7 years ago, but I sometimes forget to mention my Grandfather.

On Monday at my church here in Bartlett, TN, I got to enjoy the Bartlett Flute Choir and the Bartlett Sunday Brass Choir. They did a Christmas program, where they played some of my favorite Christmas Hymns and Carols, like The First Noel, O Come All Ye Faithful, White Christmas and a few other secular songs that I like when it comes Christmas time. I sat next to my grandfather taping, but I could not help, but go back in time and just remember, all of the good times I had with him and my grandmother, sitting in there log house with a fire going, petting there dogs Sandy and Trucker and enjoying being with them for Christmas. Even now as I type it brings tears to my eyes.

Christmas for me always had two very important meanings. Celebrating the birth of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and getting to spend it with my Grandparents. Ever since I have become older and I lost my grandma, I don't spend as much time with my grandpa as I should, so seeing him at the concert really made me happy. We got to share in beautiful music and go to fellowship even more as Grandfather and Grandson. To me, that meant the world. He just turned 75 years of age, and I tell you what, I am sorry I haven't spent more time with him.

Christmas brings around one of my favorite times of the year and that's winter and the cold weather...now yes I will admit when it's cold, but I love the smell of the chimney smoke that is in the air. I love the site of snow when it falls. I haven't had a white christmas in quite a long time, but if I get one this year, it will make me very happy. I sit here and wonder why people think Christmas is about getting the best deals at a retail store. My church does a Live Nativity, we call it the Christmas Odyssey, and I will be the first the tell you, it is a lot of hard work to put it together. I think in all I logged about 40 + hrs in the three days that we did it. I was hoping that it would put me in the Christmas mood, but I really wasn't feeling it afterwards, but when I got to listen to the concert the other night, that jump started me!

On Tuesday nights I usually watch a show called NCIS, and this week, it was a new episode, so I of course didn't go out and made sure I was home to watch, and it was there first "Christmas" episode. It was a touching episode in the way only this show can give. Abby the spunky "goth" Forensic Scientist and her innoncence when it comes to the holiday. It was about a Navy Petty Office who supposedly murdered two people. Well it turns out that he was actually hired by the murdered couple to decorate there house for the holidays, a way to give back to those less fortunate. Well the metro cops, think they have there man, but the NCIS Team Leader/Supervisor Leroy Jethro Gibbs (the protagonist) and his team made of street smart former Baltimore Detective turned Senior Special Agent Tony Dinozzo, Mossad Liason Office Ziva David, Field Agent Timothy McGee investigate the claims, and find out that he in fact did not kill him...but the kicker was that the navy Petty Officer was believed to be dead and had a family. The daughter wanted to know her father, while his ex wife wanted nothing to do with him. In the end, the Petty Officer is taken to his daughters house by Gibbs, and Gibbs tells the gentleman, if there is something that he would give anything for and that would be to hold his daughter (who was murdered)...but that will never happen, but he had a chance to know his daughter and grandson. And it shows the man hugging his grandson and daughter and it shows Gibbs calling his dad to wish him a Merry Christmas.

It's moments like that are etched in TV memories and help bring around one of the two reasons for this season...the birth of Christ and family.

Thanks for reading and I am sorry it's a little long...I hope you have a great Christmas season and a Happy Hanukah. With Love.

The Big Guy

Mmph.

Makes me think to the day of when I was growing up, what I wanted to be when I did finally grow up, and I could always picture myself in law enforcement. I had my physical agility test, and I didn't fare so well...let's just say...not really getting in shape ( i had been working out...and what not) and having a cold...well it takes its tole on you. So I didn't get in...which is understandable...I would really like to be in shape...but then I keep reading about the Border Patrol and things under Homeland Security...my only problem...no experience in the Military (knew that would come back to haunt me)...I guess I could always apply and just wing it...but I really want some experience if I am go out for Homeland Security or any other Federal LEO job. Also that is hindering me with Memphis right now is my record...let's just say, it's not spot less. I don't know if they will accept me because of a few mistakes I made back in college..

Now Shelby County I don't know about there hiring process and rather or not I could get in...if so I might take that route, even though MPD does pay more...they just have a few "rules" about not allowing a waivered POST graduate into there Police Force...oh well..

We'll see what happens

It's That Wonderful Time of The Year

It's spring time again ladies and gentleman...and one of my most favorite times, Softball Season has started up. So far this season we are 2-0, we've scored a total of 34 runs, and only have given up 3. Can you say DOMINATION. But it's not all about playing and winning (even though I do like doing both), its about getting to see a bunch of guys I normally don't get to see, unless its softball. And these are some good guys, the kind of guys, you go to eat with afterwards, and all you do is rip on each other. Good times in life.

Also for me it's that time of the year, where I'll definitely be losing some weight, while I like being big (I mean I'm lovable, I'm stronger then 99% of the people I know, and I have a job that will be kicking my ass up and down all summer, I want to look a little leaner...I can actually tell already. My arms are getting a little more toned...and I'm getting my chest back. If I can slim my gut down...and my waist back into the low 40's I'll be so happy!

Also I'm still looking for that special lady, even though I may have taken one step closer. I'll explain the story. So I like to go into the mall, and throw my weight around, making these crowds of wannabe thugs and Abercrombie and Fitch wannabe models part ways...and just to le them know...I'm big, they're small, and what are they gonna do about it. Well, Easter weekend, (That Saturday), I went to the mall to buy a few shirts, for Easter and to go out in and all of that stuff. Well as you know most malls, they have those stands in the middle that sell certain items, like Cell phones, or NCAA apparel or cosmetics...ya know..."Sharks". Well I was sitting with Bobby waiting on David and KC to quit buying girlie shit for KC....and Bobby and I started checking out the ladies...well Bobby is taken...even though he still looks, that's as far as he'll go...cause he loves his girl a lot (ok who wouldn't, she's sweet and she's HOT (sorry Bobby, but she is). So we're just chatting along, and out of the corner of my eye, I see this BEAUTIFUL, exotic looking lady. She's selling some Dead Sea Spa Treatment stuff. I keep looking over @ her, mainly out of the corner of my eye, just so i can see exactly how she interacts with people, and I must say...it was jaw dropping. She was so sweet and sincere to a little girl, she was very sincere to a young lady and a young man who stopped to have a look...I was not only amazed by her outer beauty, I was amazed by her beauty from the inside. Well, I went to the mall a few days ago, (Friday actually) to meet up with David and KC before I was to meet Tony and Sharity for dinner @ O'Charlies, well, I see her again, and I go up to her and she starts selling me some stuff, and I ended up buying! But I knew I had ot get her number, and feeling distraught for being a coward the day before, I went up to her on Saturday (this past saturday, I'm typing this on the 13th and 14th of April, I gave her my number, and she gave hers!....Will this lead anywhere? I don't know...but I'm hoping.

Why Can't People Drive in This Freaking CITY!!

God this shit is starting to piss me off now. I swear to everything sacred, people DO NOT KNOW HOW TO READ!! When the speed limit sign says 55, GO 55 you moron!!!!!! GRRRR Stop going 45!!!!!!!!!! Or 50, oh hell I could go on for a year in a half! These people are freaking retarded! I'm sorry but old people should NOT be allowed to drive if they cannot AT LEAST go the speed limit. I have never seen somone damn near cause a wreck by going so slow in my life until tonight! GRRRR!

Oh yeah, why do people think that hey there is a huge truck, lets get in front of it, and then SLAM ON THE BREAKS!!!! GRRRR! You retard I could kill you!!! And no it wouldn't be my fault you dumbasses!!! Ok I've ranted enough I think...

3 Near Death Situations in 2 Days....Are My Days Numbered?

Now I have a fast car. A 2003 Chevy Impala, with a 3.8 V6 with a police interceptor package. I can usually hit 0-60 in about 7 seconds. But let me explain what has happened the past few cpl of days with stupid ass Memphis drivers. Now if you see a car moving a pretty good clip, would it be smart of you to try and make a turn in a much slower car? Hell no. You would wait until that person has gotten by you to make a turn...well two people didn't and I almost T Boned them.

Also I drive for Best Buy in there delivery truck, and people think its ok to speed around me, stay on my blind side for a good 10 mins, and then speed in front of me...slam on there brakes just so they can make a turn...GRRRRR!!! I hate stupid ass Memphis drivers. I don't consider myself a Memphis driver, because frankly I get away from stupid people....once I've gotten away from them, I go back to normal speeds...but damn it man...people are freaking stupid!

Why?

That's a question I ask a lot. Why?

Why do I have to go to work today?
Why don't I ever get left alone by my family
Why is it that my mother thinks she can come into my room and just take over my computer and stay on it all day long....

Why doesn't God answer prayers, or maybe he does and it's not the answer we want...

Or a lot of the time Why does God let things happen....

Let's talk about those two things.

When we ask God in our prayers to look out for one another, or to help heal someone, and they person gets sick or ends up passing away, why is it that people say, oh they are @ a better place? I for one get sick of hearing that answer. They maybe @ a better place, but what good is it for this world?

Take my Grandmother for example. I didn't need God to take her away, I needed her on this earth! He has enough Angels. I just don't think its fair...maybe I'm wrong about it...sometimes...I just want to ignore God, because everytime I ask him for something, its the total opposite...

The second thing is...why the does God let horrible things happen? If he is all powerful, why does he let people murder each other, planes crash into buildings? A mad man run loose in the Middle East threatening to blow Americans up again? I always thought I had a strong belief in God, but here in the last few years...I've gotten away from God...not that I'm becoming an Athiest, but more like, just a person who questions...Hopefully...some of those questions can be answered....but for now...I have to ask...Why?